Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Confession 15 - Irony

Irony is not without a sense of humor. If I haven't alluded to it yet in the context of any of my cabbage confessions, I have been looking for a full time job for the summer. This job may or may not replace my employment as a cabbie – I haven't decided yet. But since this confession is somewhat related to that, I will go ahead and post it. If any of you are disillusioned because this confession is not actual cabbie-ing, I apologize. I just had to share it. And I want to continue to tell my crazy employment-related stories.

I had a job interview last week in downtown Denver. I had been working hard at being well prepared for this interview, and I wanted to make sure that I had all of my bases covered. I had extra copies of my resumé, a full tank of gas, good tires for my car, functional car, made prearrangements for all of my classes that I would be missing, and even left early enough to allow extra time for getting stuck in rush hour traffic.

Once I got into the downtown area, I was starting to really focus on how I would handle the interview. Being only a mile away from my interview destination, I figured I was on the home stretch and had nothing to worry about.

My car didn’t agree. It decided, instead, to lose functionality in the gas pedal. If you’ve never had this experience, I will explain. A gas pedal works by pushing on it. Genius, I know. But somehow this mechanical marvel does a whole bunch of complicated mechanics and propels the car forward. In my case, I assume that it hooks up to spark plugs which are then used to shock the hamster under the hood, which then runs in a wheel that propels my car. I’m not sure how it survives. I think it lives off of the gas that I put in the tank. Whatever the case, this little hamster gets about 40mpg on the highway.

The problem arose when my gas pedal quite suddenly became rather flaccid. It had about as much motivation as most of the seniors on campus at CSU. It pushed on it and it collapsed to the floor. It gave no resistance, and exerted no effort. To make matters worse, this was in the middle of Speer Boulevard, which happens to comprise 8 lanes of insane traffic. So, I was trying to coast as far as possible in the vain hope of finding a good place to pull over. The red light ahead of me seemed to have a different idea.

In my attempt to keep my momentum, I decided that I should turn right at the stop light and pull over in an area with less traffic. I succeeded in doing so at the cost of running a red light. I could only hope that there were no police around. My car finally stopped in the middle of the single lane entrance into a downtown park-n-ride. Preparing for the worst, I popped the hood and took a look.

It wasn’t as bad as I expected. Apparently the cable that connected the throttle to the gas pedal had come loose and lost its tension. This was much better than the alternative of it completely breaking off (which had incidentally happened to me about 2 years ago while delivering pizza). So I popped it back in place, ecstatic that I actually managed to avoid opening the hood and staring in complete confusion while I anxiously decided what to do next.

I lowered the hood and then looked up to see a local police officer stopped behind my car. As everyone knows, I am a completely honest person, so I did what any honest person would do: I waved to him, jumped in my car, and drove into the parking lot to look for an exit. As I meandered my way through to the gated entrance, the police officer stopped next to me and asked me if I was aware that I ran the red light back there.

“Oh, sorry. My car wasn’t working.” I replied. I then…well… just drove off. In hind sight that probably wasn’t such a good idea. But for some reason, he didn’t follow me. So once again I managed to avoid getting a ticket.

I even managed to arrive at the interview on time. I even managed to get the job. And, as of the time of me writing this, I have not received any ticket in the mail. Irony truly is not without its sense of humor, but the ironic thing is that the ironic situation had an even more ironic outcome. Don’t you think?